Bike Hugger’s blog

~Footfalls echo in the memory, down the passage which we did not take, towards the door we never opened into the rose garden~

A decision I felt I needed to made a few months ago hurt someone for whom I care deeply. I would put my life on the line for her, yet I could not stay and I could not make her happy... 

Am I selfish for wanting more time and space for myself?

I own more regret for the things I've not spoken, than for the things I have.........................

New Belgium Fat Tire Ale

New Belgium Springboard Ale

New Belgium 1554 Enlightened Black Ale

~The search is over~

Side Note: TN peeps must cross the Mississippi to buy this! Bring a cooler, ice the beer down, and by the time you are back home, it's good and cold!

get a bike

find a trail

ride

persuade friends to join you

ride

wreck

buy a full suspension ride

ride

wreck

drink a cold beer with friends and compare scars

I'm not Irish; in fact, I am just about as far away from being Irish as anyone could be. I like music created by Irish bands. U2, Sinead O'Connor, Cranberries, David Gray, and the list could go on... I like beer, but I guess, when I think about it for any length of time, the beer that I like is not Irish so never mind.

I'm not Irish, but I have dated my fair share of Irish women. I mean, what are the chances that I would date two women from two different times in my life that were straight out of Ireland-- one a red head and the other a dark-haired lass. I can even incorporate the word "lass" into a sentence in my blog! How great is that?! I have a really good friend in Chicago who is Irish-- does that count for anything?!

I'm not Irish, but I love the Boston Celtics. I prefer clover honey over wildflower honey anyday... I have even been known to drizzle some clover honey on my Lucky Charms to reach that perfect level of sugary heaven.

I'm not Irish and I refuse to drink green beer! I just CANNOT force myself to do it!

I'm not Irish so don't pinch me unless you really mean it and can successfully defend yourself...

Well, as expected, I didn't sleep worth a crap last night. Oh, I got a A LOT of shut-eye, but absolutely no amount of actual sleep transpired. I don't think I can even consider what happened last night as any amount of dozing off and on. It just didn't happen! Dannnnngggg-hhitt!

After much tossing and turning, looking at my watch, negotiating with myself to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths for 10 minutes, I succumbed and got up with a raging headache and a sheet wrapped around my legs so tightly I almost felt over when I tried to roll out of bed...

My sweet Olive (best kitty in the world) followed me to the kitchen to get something to wash down the three Advil clutched in my hand like the Hope Diamond. We had juice and diet Coke-- neither would add to my futile attempts at sleep. Ahh, I found some milk hiding behind the bloody mary mix! I poured myself a glass(usually it tastes better straight from the carton) and noticed that my sweet Olive was winding herself around my feet trying to get my attention. I found one of those little bowls you use for individual salt portions and gave her a midnight snack. I sat it on the floor and watched as she crept up to it, looked at me, and stuck her nose in it. She rubbed herself against my legs one last time as a thank you and headed straight for the bowl.

The next time I saw her, which was around 4:00am, she was sacked out at my feet! I'm glad someone got some sleep!

Well, I still have three designs due by week's end and here I am voxing at 9:30ish on a Wednesday evening. I just cannot seem to get it together this week. Actually, if truth be told, I have been extremely distracted for about the last month and just can't put my finger on it... I haven't been sleeping either-- which sucks because I typically require at least 7 hours of sleep... Usually I am quick to self-analyze, but am failing my Virgo tendencies (if you believe in this stuff)  miserably.

I managed to get into work by 8:00 and only had to use the fire hose a few times; two fires and one "personality conflict." I also had an incredible work-out at the gym after a late afternoon coffee boost. I think I am going to start incorporating the coffee into my daily routine! I worked out on the elliptical machine for 45 minutes and worked my legs heavy and also did abdominal work for twenty minutes. I want to reach my 43rd birthday fit as a fiddle and am very motivated to do that!! For the most part, I've changed my eating habits with very few set backs.

I'm a little put out by the fact that I can't run the trails right now because I really love it and miss it! I will have to stick with riding them for now! I just can't make up my mind about the foot surgery and of course there is never really a good time to schedule it. I am heading full swing into my landscaping season (which is looking busier than last year) and I don't want anything to interfere with my fitness program. I am hoping that getting this weight off will help with my foot problem and I am seeing a top foot surgeon in Memphis, but I will have to see what happens in the next few months... I DO NOT make a good patient!!!!!!!

I apologize for the choppiness of my post, but I'm letting my fingers (not comic genius) do the work tonight.

Going to drink my hot tea in the tub and try to get to sleep by midnight, if at all possible.

Good night and don't let the bed bugs bite.........

"Any society that would give up a little liberty to gain a little security will deserve neither and lose both"-- Ben Franklin

Ben Franklin came to mind as a childless tricycle with a kite string attached to it's handlebars scooted across the grass today at the park. I'm sure this is NOT what Benjamin Franklin had in mind during his kite experiments, the Wright brothers maybe, but not Ben.

We kicked the soccer ball and dodged goose poop as best we could. If you have never kicked a ball with a two year old, I suggest you try it. Not only do you get a great work-out since rarely does the ball actually come back to your general vicinity, but the opportunity to experience the run...stumble...run technique of a two year old is priceless. I had a great time!

I have three landscape designs to finish by the end of the week-end and I've started one!! Ack! It's beautiful outside and increasingly difficult to stay in the house and focused on what makes up more than half of my annual income. Yes, boys and girls, the days of the mom and pop pencil sketch on notebook paper are gone; also gone is the expectation that the drawing is free. Two of these are drawing and installation, the other is a design for my neighbor. We've done some minor things to our yard since I moved in about a year ago, but not as much as I would have liked. In due time...

Better get to it-- I have a bike obsession to pay for!

Kd1

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...Listening to some very old and classic Nina Simone...

The kd lang pics are for Sarah!! (And apparently Shannon!)

Kd3

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For those of you not familiar with Memphis, Schnuck's is a smallish neighborhood grocery store here in the heart of Midtown. It is also, apparently, the best pick up place on a warm Saturday night for lesbians on a shopping mission for fat free milk, Rolling Rock Lite, reduced fat peanut butter, and 3 pears... I know, I know, a very sexy shopping cart load of food-- how COULD she resist?!

I am not used to actual women hitting on me (oh, except for that Walmart check out lady a few posts ago); what I AM used to is gay men cruising me in Target. And it is usually in the music section (because you know how we gay people like to listen to our music) or the pet food/accessory aisle (because you know how we gay people can accessorize the shit out of little Fido). Come on fellas, I'm buying cat food-- doesn't that scream "big ol' dyke" to you? And there was this time in college when a 40 something woman pinned me up against a bathroom stall door in a lesbian bar in Las Vegas and told me I looked like kd lang (which I did not) and would I go home with/and fuck her?! For those wondering, the line was not brilliant enough to work on me... not even in college.

While I don't think I am the most unattractive dyke to sport a sweat crusted ball cap, cargo shorts, stinky work out t-shirt, and flip-flops to the grocery store, I am no beauty queen! I'm not even a jealous runner-up! I have managed to secure a very attractive girlfriend and have surrounded myself with attractive friends. I think they all just make me look better......  :)

I was cruising around the corner from the beer section, which coincidently, shares an aisle with breakfast food. If I were a betting dyke (which I am), I'd bet there is a pick up line relating to lots of beer tonight equals breakfast tomorrow (albeit hurried and awkward). My suitor was the only person in sight as I rounded the corner and she looked over and smiled. I smiled back because that is how I was raised. I continued my perusing for something tasty and quick for dinner. She followed me to the peanut butter aisle. Notice how I label the aisles based upon the one thing I need? (Just a small glimpse into the way my brain works!) I was reading the labels on the peanut butter, like it matters with this item. The woman pushes her mini grocery cart behind me and starts looking at the jellies and jams. Again, she misses the great opportunity to use the irony of me looking at peanut butter while she looks at jelly. We make small talk about the store manager's preference of stocking numerous jelly/jam selections over the limited peanut butter selections. I say, "What we need is a salmonella outbreak at Smucker's to even the playing ground!" (I know, I know, that was good!) I told her to enjoy her jelly and moved on.

Still on a mission to find something quick and easy for dinner, I head over to the frozen food section where I rarely find anything appealing to eat besides Starbuck's Java Chip ice cream (thanks to an ex for getting me hooked), but maybe just this one time things will be different.The only thing different is that "suitor" has followed me over and now I am getting suspicious. The last time a stranger paid this much attention to me, I ended up giving a Viet Nam/Grenada/New Orleans/Iraq veteran $5.00. You do the math! No one could possibly be in all those situations in one lifetime unless you're a freakin' general and I'm going to guess that you probably aren't going to be asking ME for money for the bus!

The suitor comes over to me and says, "I'm so sorry, you must think I'm some crazy lady following you around, getting ready to hit you up for money or something (she must have crossed paths with the war hero), but would you like to go grab some dinner or a coffee?" What was running through my mind must have somehow appeared on my forehead because she stepped back before I could utter a word and said, "You're involved and I AM crazy for being so blunt." I could feel my face getting red as I stammered for something to say; I am rarely at a loss for words. As I apologized for being involved (this never comes out the way it is meant), I told her it was okay. Sometimes I amaze myself by the greatness of my words.......

In some lesbian circles, this would have constituted a date,,, U-Haul reservation and sperm donor selection following the return trip for forgotten cat food and chai tea.

We both checked out at the same time and as far away from each other as humanly possible. I really hope that the next time I see her, things don't get all weird between us!!!